One of My Favorite Things

One of my Favorite Things

One of my favorite things is to watch the light change in the morning. To watch as incremental particles of dawn suffuse and replace the darkness. I like to see the walls of my room come back into place and the many faces emerge from my cottage cheese ceiling. I love it when the sunlight suddenly brightens everything in my office like a Christmas gift.

It feels like an opening to me. Like I can feel my heart warming up and that self-love rippling to the other parts of me, rippling to my past and and my ancestors, rippling to anywhere in my body that isn’t light.

More and more, I am enjoying the awareness of light that comes into my body to replace the darkness. Through out the day I watch as a fleeting insult (from outside in the world or from the inner broken record) dampens my mood, and removes my smile and my enjoyment of feeling connected to everyone and everything.

But then I call back my energy: I release any energy I’ve mistakenly picked up from someone else and I send any energy I’ve taken from them back. Then, once I am clear that I am dealing with my own energy, I begin the graceful, easy process of transmuting it…

I take in a breath of light

Which feels like a gentle whirling in my body, like a loving massage of my organs, like all my cells are alive and excited to be working together.

And I let that light unfold and whirl around whatever misunderstanding is temporarily weighing me down. And in that area of expanding light and warm compassion spreading like butter on my newly toasted soul, I hardly notice as the negative thought or feeling dissipates and escapes my body.

The negative thought was so predictable. So self-devaluing. Almost comical in its fight to convince me it was real.

Once I’ve released it, I can see it for what it was. Darkness that was ready to become light. And I am a better person for having changed it. I am strong in the knowledge that I can transmute energy.

I recently discovered this is also the meaning of GURU. GU means darkness and RU means light. The Guru is the embodiment of the wisdom, which takes us from the darkness of ignorance or confusion to the light of our truth.

And I'm ecstatic to say, this is what I am.

Actually, what we all are.

Shiners of light.

And bearers of darkness.

Shiners of light in the darkness.

Most of us are all mixtures of both. But some people are more stuck in their GU while others are sparkling deities of RU. And yet others go back and forth. (That's probably why they chant so much. They can't decide which it is.)

But what I've noticed and am starting to accept is that the GU is just as important as the RU. The darkness envelops and the light infuses and lifts.

I used to dread and fear the darkness. Which only adds more darkness. Or I would judge and punish the darkness. Bad darkness! Well, the darkness already felt bad enough, so that didn't help. But now I see the beauty of the darkness. The sacrifice the darkness is making so that I can experience the light. Thank you, darkness. I am so enjoying the light.

Then I picked up my little five-pound doggie and rubbed his tummy and asked, “So, Guru Dickins, what’s for breakfast?”